September 19
Day 6 – NRG Arena, Houston, TX
Today marks Day #6 here at the NRG Arena and the Best Friends Shelter. This will be my last night of writing about my journey here. Tomorrow is my last day and I know I will be so torn to pieces leaving those angels behind that I won’t be able to write a word. I will most likely end up coming back to my Airbnb and finish a bottle of white by myself, crying my eyes out and try to make sense of what I’ve experienced and seen this past week.
It has hands down been the most challenging, but also the most rewarding week of my life. I knew coming over here, that it was going to be heartbreaking but I had no idea the toll it was going to take on me emotionally. The brain is an amazing defense mechanism though. A few days in, it simply shut down the intake process. I didn’t realize it at the time, I was struggling to try to make sense of, and come up with a somewhat “normal” explanation in my head, to why some people do what they do to animals. Something my mind would actually “buy”. I failed miserably though. And that’s probably when my mind unconsciously decided enough is enough – this one has had all she can handle.
But of course, you can’t keep the pain you feel inside, so you cry instead. We cry a lot here. At least the volunteers. We don’t have the experience and are not as seasoned as the staff to handle this. By that, I don’t mean they don’t struggle with the emotions, they just have more experience in how to handle it. Everyone here absolutely loves animals and there isn’t a thing they would not do for these guys.
So, my designated job for today was to make sure all dogs – every single 500 of them – had water in their bowls before it’s meal time at 2pm and to make sure all the latches were on securely.
Whatever it takes…
This is supposed to be their “quiet time”. Some of them get it, others see the opportunity to be the loud guy on the block and barks just to get attention. I can’t help but wonder if it ever gets quiet in here at night…
So as I was “watering” the dogs I had a great opportunity to really spend a few moments with each one (except the ones that actually decided to sleep of course). The first one of “my babies” I get to say hi to is Skinny Minny. She’s doing better than the first day.
She actually was kind of asleep as I walked up and gave me a look like “not sure I really want to get up”. But then I think she remembered that my visits usually equals a belly rub and gentle touch and decided to come up for some love. Remember, she’s the one not responding much to treats. It’s good to see that she is comfy enough to get some rest here. I’m worried about her though. Either she was a street dog or came from a puppy mill which means no one will be coming back here for her, to bring her home. If they did, they would probably not be allowed to take her anyway. I will never forget her sweet little face as long as I live.
Next one is Cuddle Bear. He always has this look on his face like “what took you so long? I’ve waited all day!” I just love this guy to pieces. He is so gentle and the best walker ever! He is comfier now in his pen. The cardboard wall is blocking out the bully on the other side and his neighbor is a soft gentle soul and there is a small area not blocked with cardboard so they can socialize, should he decide to. I’ve spent much time wondering how he got his scars. I’ve checked his teeth but they don’t seem to be filed down so probably not a bait dog. But he would never have been a fighter, he does not have a mean bone in his body and he’s terrified of other dogs. Remember he laid flat on the floor and froze when he first arrived and was met by barks. He too will always have a special spot in my heart.
When all bowls are finished in the big main area I finally get to go visit in The Library. I check on my little buddy whom I hope to adopt in a few weeks and then walk over to Amazing Grace.
I first stay outside her pen (yes, Amazing Grace is actually a girl) and she pushes her forehead to the pen and so do I and we just sit there for about a minute our heads together.
One of the staff comes up and tells me she has had a very rough night, gotten very stressed and had gotten an upset stomach, and pooped all over her pen. So I take a leash and walk her outside. She really liked that today. Well, she likes that every day, but today she walked much faster. Normally I have to take it very very slow with her, making a path of treats for her to follow, to get her out. She is very skeptic to most things around her right now and just needs some extra time to do the simplest things.
We walk out to our Haven and I massaged her little body all while humming Amazing Grace as she stretched out in the grass. I don’t know a darn thing about massage so I faked it and she didn’t seem to mind. She calmed down a lot. So much that when we walked back in again and she was back in her Library she actually perked up and showed interest in one of the small dogs in there. I will post a video of that here. I am going to miss this little lady so much. She too will always have her very special place in my heart.
As I’m about to sign out from my shift this afternoon, I run into a new friend I met last night for the first time. Yesterday was her first day here. An absolutely incredible woman. You know that feeling when you meet someone who has done so much in a lifetime and really lived, that it seems like they must have had three lives to your one. The kind of person you could just listen to for hours. We start chitchatting about the sad stories we’ve seen here as well as the happy ones. Somehow we slip in on the challenge of walking the bigger dogs, especially the strong pit bulls and terriers. We also agree that there is not a single mean dog in this building. Even the big pits are just like little babies and just want our love and attention. That’s when she mentions the red-brown one and I know exactly which one she’s talking about. I walked him yesterday – well more like him pulling me.
I had been wondering about the strange line on his back with no hair, as we walked. Thought it would be strange for him to rub in such straight line. My friend told me what she had heard in regards to the scar.
Supposedly, someone in his life, owner or stranger, had poured acid down his back. At that moment I really thought that I was going to get sick, right there. She also proceeded to tell me what seems to be the “trend” right now, pouring acid on dogs, and setting cats on fire…
What the hell is wrong with people? Excuse my language, BUT REALLY, what the hell is going on in a mind that would do something like that. I tell you one thing, I better not EVER meet that person in a dark alley…
As far as I’m concerned, animal abuse should equal the death sentence. Maybe, just maybe then, people would start treating animals with respect.
J.J. – all he wants is to be held and loved upon…the fact that he even trusts a human is nothing short of a miracle…
I pray that all the angels here at the NRG Arena find their forever home. There is not a dog or cat in here that would not make a great pet. They all have their story to tell if only someone would listen. It’s been hard emotionally, but the worst is yet to come tomorrow when I’m leaving this place for the last time. It’s become my home and the people here share my passion for animals and their welfare. I will actually miss the people almost as much as the dogs (and the cats of course). I don’t know how I’m going to walk out that door tomorrow afternoon but it helps to know, that as hard it is to see their sad faces, they are the lucky ones. They got off the street and they are getting the best medical care a dog or cat could ask for. All they need now is their own forever home and time to heal their emotional scars. Unfortunately, there are many more who didn’t end up here…
As for this week-long journal, it was completely unplanned. I started writing the first night to get the sadness and hopelessness out, release the pain. I had no idea this week was going to affect me the way it did. But writing about the experience has helped me cope so thank you all for listening, and thank you all for your support through prayers, encouraging words, calls, messages, and comments this past week. I can’t begin to tell you what an enormous help it has been. I don’t think I could have done this without you all. I’m blessed beyond words to have friends like you.
And of course a huge thank you to Steve, for his endless patience and for the long evening hours of listening to me crying and sobbing so hard as I was telling him about my days, that I actually ended up choking a couple of times. Other times I just plain lost it and bawled throughout our conversations. Not sure they actually qualify as conversations… I know he probably didn’t understand much I was saying but thank you for faking it, I am so lucky to be married to this guy!!!
Tomorrow won’t be a written post. I’m going to spend the evening reflecting over the past week with a bottle of wine and a tissue box. Eventually, I will post a slide-show of some of the furry angels whose lives I have been honored and privileged to have shared this week.
To end on a happy note, I’m including a link at the bottom, of another happy reunion. As much as we all love on each animal in here, in the end, family is family and nothing beats coming home.
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